The other day I was just feeling like crap, so I went to listen to an old friend's message about discouragement. She's great by the way, Sarah at New Song Church in Oklahoma. She said, "Discouragement is the dissatisfaction with the past, distaste for the present, and distress of the future."
I think going through fertility treatments you for sure begin to feel discouraged with every little thing that goes wrong, and unfortunately things do go wrong. You're probably already dissatisfied with past fertility treatments you've been through. Maybe your first three Clomid cycles didn't work. Maybe you thought IUI would work, and it failed. You look back at the past and just think, "Why the F did it not happen for me?" I do that to myself all the time. I look back and think, "Why did I do that, why did I say that (major sufferer of word vomit)” I have to let go of the things I've been dissatisfied with in the past because I can't change it. Accept it and move on.
Distaste for the present. Maybe you aren't responding to meds like you thought. Maybe you are tired of giving yourself damn injections. Maybe you are just tired of dealing with all this BS during the holidays. I'm not loving the present right now, but I sure as hell am trying. You have to find joy in the little things when life is seriously sumo chopping you when you're down.
Distress for the future. One of the biggest obstacles to overcome when dealing with infertility is continuing after failed cycles. It's easy to feel distressed about what's to come when it's completely out of your control. Maybe one of my biggest downfalls is wanting to control where my life is going. I've realized lately (even more) that I have issues with just letting life happen. I mean I preach this so often in my blog, but I sure as heck don't live that way.
Feeling discouraged is the worst. It’s like you can't even see a glimmer of light at the end of the mother F'ing tunnel. How do you fix it? Well I'm working on that too. Keeping faith that everything will work out (in time), knowing you're strong enough to handle whatever shit you're going through, and embracing the obstacles in life knowing that in the long run it's only going to make you better. Also a good suggestion (even if you aren't religious) is go to New Song Church online and listen to Sarah. It’s called Character Sketches Part 4 - The Dark Side of Discouragement - David