Funny Girls of Fertility

The Little Voice


Oh, infertility.  It can be a lonely place.  I realize more often than not, my patients don't want to let me off the phone, we go over the same questions a bajillion times.  Its not because they don't understand the answers (trust me, I know y'all have researched EVERYTHING)  its because they want reassurance that its going to be okay!

During these moments, something  I wish I could offer our patients would be tips on mindfulness.  For those who are unfamiliar with the practice; a very basic, general description of mindfulness is being aware of your conscious experience.  My simple interpretation is being in the moment and controlling your inner dialogue!

My favorite part of mindfulness is controlling the voice inside your head!  I read this great book called "The Untethered Soul," which has an awesome analogy (that I'm going to convert to a fertility related analogy.)

The book was discussing that little nagging voice that you have in your head, the one that NEVER stops talking (well at least my voice is pretty chatty.)  The little voice in your fertility driven mind that is saying "you'll never get pregnant," "you'll never have a baby;" "you are wasting so much money," "you are making your friendships suffer," "you are making your marriage suffer."

Now imagine that ALL those negative thoughts your inner voice is telling you, were coming from someone else.  Imagine that a close friend or even some rando on Instagram said things like, "You aren't getting pregnant anytime soon.  Might as well throw in the towel."  Would that be someone you would want to be friends with?

NOOOOOO!  You would kick their ass to the curb real fast (or immediately unfollow and block them in the wonderful world of IG!)

Why do we do it to ourselves then??  Why do we keep letting the voice fill us with the negative thoughts day in and day out?!  (Deep, huh??)

Internal dialogue is LOUD when dealing with infertility. The reason its loud is because you lack control.  This is a great time to throw your Type A, control driven self out the window (figuratively not literally.)  You have to get that inner voice in check.  When the voice pops up making you question that faint positive you see on your pregnancy test, shut it down.  30 minutes later when the voice comes back again questioning if you are symptomatic or not... shut it down.  An hour later when you are Dr. Googling yourself and are now convinced it will never happen for you.. shut it down!

My advice is to take it a day at a time.  Infertility is an unpredictable bitch.  Don't let her get the best of you.  Live in the moment, enjoy everyday (easier said then done.)