I've decided to switch careers and become a Medium..... jokes. But for real, the after life of infertility. What do you do once you get pregnant?
Our patients surprisingly have a tough time making that transition. I think you get use to the struggle, you get use to hanging out with (hopefully) your amazing nursing staff every other day. The weekly scans, the constant contact with people who understand you....and then its gone. You are seeing your OB who probably sees a bajillion people. You don't see your OB as often, and may not grow as close of a bond.
You go from trolling every infertility blog and website to moving on to the pregnancy world that quite honestly you aren't use to (you'll get there.)
I think like anything in life, once you become comfortable with something, its hard to leave. I'll use college as an example..
I went to Oklahoma State for my first degree. My life revolved around school. I graduated in 3 years (yes, I know I shouldn't have been in such a rush to get out of there.) Everything I did revolved around school work, and then I graduated and was like "what the heck do I do with my life now." (Maybe not the best analogy but thats what I'm working with here.) What was next for me when I graduated was scary. I remember going to a job fair at OSU and the only thing they were offering were jobs at rental car places (nothing wrong with that, but just not the path I wanted to go.) I see my patients dealing with the same struggle when its time for them to graduate.. whats next for me!?
I believe moms that go through infertility may have a different kind of appreciation for their pregnancy. It was a struggle and their life completely revolved around it. So many couples who have dealt with infertility are use to some pretty shit news. Tides have changed and now things are going the right way, and a lot of the time my patients are just waiting for something to go wrong. Scared to enjoy the ride.
A patient who recently graduated is a prime example of this. She was a really sweet lady, and this was her very last embryo. She was pregnant and everything looked great. She was never excited for the ultrasound, always skeptical, and I just didn't understand it. Her husband told me she wasn't going to be happy until the baby was born. I later found out that she had previously lost a baby at 16 weeks, and it clicked for me. The possibility of "what if" it happens again. Questioning what could possibly happen isn't letting you enjoy what actually IS happening.
Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles. It empties today of its strength. My advice is to take it a day at a time. The TTC/Infertility community is always here for you to creep on when you need. :)