Funny Girls of Fertility

The Down Low of Donor Egg

Sharon

It seems as of late that I have been dealing with more donor egg cycles than normal.  For those dealing with infertility issues you know egg count and quality are the holy grail.  Not everyone is fortunate enough to be able to retrieve their own, let alone have viable eggs.  

There are a couple of misconceptions when it comes to egg quality.

1. "If I'm healthy (no matter my age) I'll have healthy eggs."  Not true.

2. "Only women over 40 need donor egg."  Again not true. 

I have multiple patients who are in their 30's that are currently having to use a donor.  Egg quality sure as heck does not discriminate.

A patient that I've been working with for over a year now tried IVF a couple of times.  She is in her 30's with a very low AMH.  After a few failed attempts she decided to get a second opinion for her own sanity.  She ended up coming back to our office when the second opinion was "use donor egg."  She  did end up deciding to switch to donor egg and recently came into the office for her baseline appointment.  Someone she knew over heard her say that she was using donor egg, and she was mortified.  My empathy was not on point that day or something because I just didn't understand why she was embarrassed.  Maybe since I deal with this stuff so much, I don't think there is anything to be ashamed of!

Now that I've had time to think about this patients egg situation being broadcasted to someone she knew, I totally get it. I should have gotten it then.  I always try to relate situations to my life in some way.  Surprisingly, I'm an EXTREMELY private person.  I mean it takes months, if not longer, before I open up about anything.  I'm sure its not the best feeling for others to know that the egg that you are using is not your own, that technically it won't be your biological child.  I'm not all for technicalities though.  

For those going through the donor egg process you have to look at it this way... although it may not be your egg, you are the one that is nourishing the pregnancy to the point of a healthy delivery. Without you, this wouldn't be happening.  I dislike when people have any kind of embarrassment, I would be like,  "Listen, I paid $20k for these eggs and Im going to flaunt that shit around." (I'm too much, I know.)

Moral of the story is that everyone probably reading my blog is trying to get to the same goal which is a healthy baby.  If you have to use donor sperm, donor egg, or donor embryo just look at it for what it is, a means to an end!