Funny Girls of Fertility

Let It Go


More in the James Bay sense and not so much the world of Frozen, that was so 2013.

I know people on Instagram say, "People ALWAYS ask me _______________."  It annoys the shit out of me because are that many people seriously blowing you up asking that mundane of questions, but here is the one thing that people ask me on the reg.... "How are you always SO happy?"

If you've read my blog over the last two years, you know that's not true.

I didn't have a great childhood, it was okay, but my Mom was terrible to me (still haven't spoken to her, going on over two years now).  She feels no remorse for the things she's put me through, she'll never apologize.  If anyone has Mom issues, I feel you.

I haven't had great romantic relationships.  I've been cheated on more times than I can count, I've made terrible decisions myself.   I've allowed people to treat me way less than I deserve.

Someone messaged me on Instagram the other day, after Mitch was on the CMAs and sent me a link where he talks about how he and NachoTwat are now engaged.  That's right, 6 months after we broke up they are getting MARRIED. SO, SO, SO happy for them (sarcasm is oozing, if you aren't picking up on that).  I listened to the radio interview because who WOULDN'T want to listen to their ex talk about marrying a person that you know they despised.  The last two minutes of the interview he brings her up, and how he just HAD to meet her.  Same exact thing he said about me when we met in Las Vegas, real fucking original Mitch Rossell (enter slow clap).  Of course it hurt to hear that, I am human.  I text the one person who knows Mitch better than anyone, his name is Josh, and I am forever grateful to have met him through Mitch and to now have him as a lifelong friend.  Josh talked me off the ledge, reminded me to find the happy moments in my life, and not let this shitbag steal anymore of my time.  I let myself be sad for about 47 minutes.  I then put on my big girl (yoga) pants, went and got some delicious enchiladas, a margarita, and I was healed!!!

But for real, it hurt.  I have feelings somewhere in my dark, little soul (kidding, you sensitive Sallys).

I know through infertility, school, jobs, relationships you may feel like you'll never get over the bad times, the dark moments, the embarrassing shit that has happened to you (it always seems to happen to me).  You will.  Honestly, since I watched that radio clip I haven't thought much about it.  I have so much going for me now.  I'm kicking ass 12 ways till Sunday, and if I still was with that little musician, I wouldn't be this successful.  He held me back, he didn't want me to be great, he wanted submissive, non-opinionated, uneducated (and you bet your ass he got exactly what he wanted, sorry Nacho, throwing that shade your way.  You'll always be Twat numero uno to me though :) )

Although I’ve been through some rough times in my life (regardless of how effortless I make life look on social media, so effortless right?!?!?!) I take those times that were less than stellar and try to look at them differently.

"Everything that’s broke, leave it to the breeze." - James Bay

That's what I've done and continue to try to do.  The moments that had "broken" me in the past are now the moments I look at as those who made me what I am today, one tough ass mother F'er.

For those of you who read my blog because you're dealing with infertility, when I started this two years ago, I started following a decent amount of women on Instagram who felt hopeless.  They had been through years of infertility; thought they were going to be the one couple who didn't end up with a child.  I can tell you now that probably over 80% of those couples have babies.  It's amazing to watch.

For those who read my blog because you've dealt with shit relationships be it spouse, mom, baby daddy, baby mama, whatever.. you'll feel better.  You'll get over whatever asshat made you feel less than what you are.  My friends that truly know me saw me cry constantly over Mitch, saw the verbal abuse I was dealt on an almost daily basis.  I didn't think I would get out of it.  I did.

And for those of you who read my blog because my ridiculous life makes you feel better about yourself, you're welcome. :)