If you saw my family members, you would agree I don’t look like ANY OF THE OTHERS. Unlike them, I don’t have double eyelids. If you don’t know what that means, Google it, it’s fascinating.
My mother was physically unable to bear a second child after having my sister, so, my parents decided to adopt and they found…, me. I was flown from South Korea to Oklahoma. My sister was pre-school age when I was flown over and she told her classmates after our initial meeting at the airport, “I know where babies come from! You pick them up at the airport!”
Back in the ‘80s, the adoption agency they went through placed solely orphans from Korea. At the time, their records were “sealed for life” so we speculate my birth mother was most likely younger and not married. It’s often found if women in Korea have a baby out of wedlock and they keep the baby, their families disown them but if they give them up for adoption (or abort them), they remain in good grace with the family. The name I was given was Kim Min Kyung. For 25 years, I thought my Korean first name was Kim. (Google that one too)
I imagine most women facing infertility have considered or will consider adopting. Now I understand the thought of adoption isn’t for everyone. After my mom and dad brought me home at the ripe young age of four months, my mother’s good friend expressed to her, “I couldn’t love a child who isn’t my own. You have to be really special to be able to do that.” My mother replied, “There’s no difference. She’s still my baby.” A mother’s love can be universal. Even though my mom didn’t birth me, she still gave me life - a beautiful life. Even as a child, I never knew the difference. I always felt loved. And if you’ve seen the recent movie, ‘Lion’, Nicole Kidman’s character depicts that special kind of love perfectly. It’s a chosen kind of love and that’s the best kind of love.
So if you ever consider adopting, I hope you think of me -- the girl from Funny Girls who missed the chance to work in rice fields, but instead was given a second chance to grow up in Suburbia USA.