I kind of touched on this in my last blog, about how you can get so consumed with something in your life that you can't think about anything else. Obviously mine was (very unfortunately) a country artist. Puke.
Ever since that infamous Kansas City weekend, I feel like a different person. I don't think I was really happy for the last 10 plus months. I was trying to force something that I knew all along wasn't right for me. There is no way I could have lived that lifestyle. The constant traveling, and the barrage of girls that I'm sure this douche loved behind my back. It just wasn't for me. I was SO consumed by it all that I didn't even think of myself. I lost me in all this mess.
I know infertility is all encompassing as well. I mean I guess it's good for me because you read my blog :) But do you ever feel like you get lost in it too!?! Like the only thing you can talk to your friends about is your fertility struggle. Through my career and personally through friends/family that have been through fertility treatments I know that's how they were living; eat, breathe, and sleep fertility.
Now that we have made it through one of the worst days of the year for those dealing with infertility (Mother's Day), and I'm going on two weeks free of #nachotwat 2017, maybe we should look at it like a fresh start. For those of you who have lost yourself in the constant Googling, the Instagram hashtag searches from hell, the message boards that I don't even mess with, maybe just take a few days and free yourself from it.
When you are consumed with something other parts of your life suffer. Hell, I don't even know how I still have friends after this last year. I managed to keep up with my blog because I had so many damn emotions inside me that I had to get them out through writing, so I guess that's one positive that came from my situation. When you do get to that positive pregnancy test or to the point where you are done trying, I don't want you to live with the same regrets I'm living with right now. Don't look back and think, "why did I have NO life besides dealing with infertility."
If I put as much energy into something positive as I did into him, I'd probably be like Gandhi right now. Maybe far-fetched, but you get the point.
"What consumes your mind controls your life."
Seeing the silver lining of my shit situation, my eyes have definitely been opened to maintain better balance in life!